Introduction, meet the family.

I should begin this blog telling you first, a little about myself and my family.

I met my husband in Illinois in the year 2009 in December after leaving my first husband. (Yes I am only 26 and have already been divorced once. I forced my first relationship and it was full of verbal abuse and other nasty things that I don't need to get too much into just yet.) My father passed away that November and I moved back in with my mother. After struggling staying with her and her pill addiction I left with John for an adventure to Florida with no money and an overheating van. We made it to the gulf coast and I slept on the beach my first night in the south. In a nut shell our journey since then began with homelessness, a one room apartment, a trailer and now a cute little duplex in the perfect neighborhood. We have seen many struggles together. We are now married and continue this journey walking together everyday.

My husband and I wed shortly after the birth of our daughter who was born May 17, 2011. We named her Chloe Alexis Rain and began our journey into parenthood. I suffered severe postpartum depression that lasted for the majority of a year and I was in my own world. I was lost and didn't know who I was. When we moved into the duplex it didn't take long for us to discover our second pregnancy. We found out we were having our boy and we were overjoyed. Much to our surprise when we had our son, which we named Wyatt, he was flown to two different hospitals not knowing what was wrong with him. After about 5 days (sometimes I get confused, everything is a blur but it all happened so fast) I finally got to hold him after a 5 hour drive to Gainesville, FL. We found out his diagnosis, Trisomy 18. It's a rare genetic disorder that they also refer to as "incompatible with life". Most boys do not make it very long. Ours survived 18 days.

There's been a strange strength in everything but at the same time it's pretty earth shattering. I found a new sense of spirituality because of Wyatt (our strength and guide much like the meaning of his name.). I discovered things about myself that I was too scared to do before and took a giant leap. I even dyed my hair pink. I went through about 5 different hair colors after losing him. But even saying that I lost him doesn't feel right. Part of him is still there. Still here with me. With us.

There is still much I want to share with you all but for now I must go. Join us on our journey through weight loss, spirituality, mental health, parenting, loss and so much more.